There is a certain level of shame associated with living with your parents in your twenties.
I am acutely aware of my level of privilege. I come from an upper-middle class family, and was fortunate enough to leave home to go to school, and to have a family that welcomed me back home once I graduated. For others, living at home is either a necessity for financial reasons, or it is not possible for other reasons. Whatever the case, I have the choice to live with my parents, or to live on my own. And I have chosen to live with my parents, and I recognize the privilege behind this choice.
That being said, it is expected that once you are a certain age, you should be living on your own, not with your parents. There’s a name for millennials like me: boomerang kids. Yep! That’s me. I left, and then I came back.
Interestingly enough, more young adults are living with their parents than ever before. Usually for reasons like lower levels of education, difficulty finding work, and high cost of housing. I moved home to save money, and because of the uncertainty of work.
When I first moved back home, I felt ashamed to be a boomerang kid. I thought I was a disappointment to my family, to my generation and to myself. You’re supposed to get education, get a job, move out, and get married. Right?
What helped me get over this shame was seeing living at home in a different light.
Live family first.
I know that I will not live with my family forever, and it is special to be able to be under the same roof as my parents. I get to see and talk to them every single day. I get to know intimately what is going on in their lives, what they struggle with, and what they are celebrating. I go through the difficulties with my parents, and am able to be there with them.
This is truly a blessing, and I am coming to terms with not being a visitor in their home, but being a part of this family, and living as a family.
Living at home, I am saving lots of money. And I am definitely grateful for this. As a kid, it was simply expected that my parents would do this and that for me. Now that I am older, it is a blessing that my parents house me and cook for me. Of course, I have more responsibilities in the home than I did when I was 5, but I also see every opportunity as a gift now. So I am grateful for what my parents offer me, and I know that this opportunity to save money while living at home gives me security before I launch out into the world on my own.
Wherever you are, be all there.
– Jim Eliot
This Jim Eliot quote is deeply profound, and reminds me that God has called me to be exactly where I am. If I am ashamed of where God has placed me, then I am ashamed of the life that He has given me. So I want to live in a way that gives glory to Him, because where I am is where God has called me to be.
Photo from unsplash.com.